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The Greatest Fiscal Cliff Analogy Yet

Moments ago, the United States House of Representatives passed the Fiscal Cliff bill. After months of argument, proposals, counter proposals, pulled proposals, and heel-digging, the House finally demanded the Senate write a bill. So they did. And it passed the Senate 89-8 on New Years Eve.  It then went to the House on New Years Day, who then passed it 257-167.

After playing hardball for months and JUST BARELY taking us over the edge, Obama will (likely) sign it into law tonight or tomorrow.

So if you haven’t been following the whole fiscal cliff situation, let me explain it to you the best way I know how.

With an analogy to an early scene from JJ Abram’s Star Trek.

So it starts off, and Obama (young James Tiberius Kirk) is just doing his thing. Oh, it’s time to set the budget for next year and try to get this country back on track fiscally.

Then all the sudden, this Robocop (House Republicans) pulls up along side him and tell him “STOP! Pull over! We’re not going to let you do that!”

Obama ponders for a moment, decides he can outrun these jerks and achieve his goal, and then guns it. The House Republicans keep trying to get in his way, but Obama is playing hardball. He refuses to give in! And then he comes up with a plan.

He breaks off the paved road (his typical style of politics) and does something crazy – he heads straight toward the cliff. When the House Republicans pull up next to him and shout one last time “Pull over!”, he floors it.

He’s playing a game of chicken with the Republicans, but what they don’t realize is that Obama isn’t going to lose.

And lose he does not. Just AFTER the last possible second, he yanks the e-brake, cuts hard, sends the car (America) flying over the edge of the Fiscal Cliff. He dives out (in slow motion), skids across the desert sand, and goes off the cliff too…

The Republicans stop chasing him, balk, and pass the Senate bill.

…but Obama catches hold of the edge with one hand, pulls himself up, and stands defiantly in front of the Robocop Republicans.

“Citizen! What is your name?” they ask in wonderment, having never seen this side of this man before.

“My name is Barack Hussein Obama II.” He shouts, positive they will never forget his name.

So Obama ends up destroying the car, but it’s the Robocop Republican’s fault. Also, The Beastie Boys is blasting in the background the whole time.